| My wife has had breast cancer for six years. We’ve been through surgery, radiation therapy and chemotherapy. Now, it looks like the latest round of chemotherapy is no longer working and that she will die in the next few months. How am I going to tell our two pre-teen children? |
Ask Marty
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| Sacred Vigil Press * PO Box 3518 * Ashland, OR 97520 info@sacredvigil.com |
| Questions that Marty has encountered from patients, from her co-workers or which have been submitted to this website. |
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| I'm assuming that your children have been involved in the progression of their mother's cancer, so they may already be aware that her treatment is not going well. Hopefully, they have been encouraged to share their feelings about their mother's illness and treatment all along. Children at this age are able to form realistic concepts and have been exposed to death in everyday life. They understand that when someone or something dies, it does not magically come back. Death is final. Honesty really is the best policy. Avoidance will only increase your children's anxiety and cause them to feel isolated. They deserve your honesty, respect and openness. You might start by talking with them about their understanding of how their mother's treatment is going. Be gentle and proceed slowly. Answer their questions as best you can, but it's okay to let them know that you don't have all the answers. Reassure them that they will be included in the process and that they will not be abandoned. |